It's Not Easy To Be Me
by montypython203
Summary: The Doctor talks about how it's not easy to be him. Songfic. Intended for the 10th but you can substitute another if you really want to.


_Title: It's Not Easy To Be Me_

_Rating: K_

_Summary: The Doctor talks about how it's not easy to be him. Songfic._

_Disclaimer: I don't own anything._

_Author's Note: Okay, the song **It's Not Easy To Be Me **is actually meant to be about Superman, but it also workd really well for the Doctor. As you read, please dismiss anything that's an obvious reference to Superman. BTW there's a beautiful vid that inspired this. It's at: http://www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?vDuZEk1XnP0_

**It's Not Easy To Be Me**_  
_

I am the Doctor. Well, the Doctor's not really my name. But hey, Elton John's not Elton John's real name. Anyway, I find the Doctor easier to go by. It's more interesting than any ordinary name. Not that my name's that ordinary for you humans. You could probably barely be able to pronounce it, no offence. Um, sorry, I'm rambling. I'd better get to the point.

_I can't stand to fly  
I'm not that naïve  
I'm just out to find  
The better part of me_

So, you may ask me: Why travel through time and space? Why live a life full of death and destruction? Well, to be honest it feels good to do good. I know that sounds really cliché and stuff, but it's true. That feeling you get after helping someone makes it all worthwhile.

_I'm more than a bird  
I'm more than a plane  
More than some pretty face  
Beside a train_

_It's not easy to be me_

There's a lot more to me than meets the eye. When people pass me in the street, they acknowledge me, then dismiss me. They may even smile at me (I've been getting a lot of that this incarnation). But if they knew what I've been through, what's going on inside my head, I don't think they could stand it.

_Wish that I could cry  
Fall upon my knees_

Whenever there's chaos and everyone's running around like a headless chicken, it's up to me to save the day. To stand tall and make sense of everything. And even after 900 years, it's still hard to be the hero all the time. Sometimes I just want to break down and cry. But I can't. People depend on me.

_Find a way to lie  
About a home I'll never see_

Gallifrey. My home. Destroyed. Gone forever. When people meet me, I wish I could tell them I'm just on holiday and I'll go back there soon. But I can't go back, because there's nothing to go back to.

_It may sound absurd  
but don't be naïve-  
Even Heroes have the right to bleed_

Sometimes people think that because I'm an alien I don't have feelings. Oh how wrong they are. I hurt more than you could imagine.

_I may be disturbed  
but won't you concede?  
Even Heroes have the right to dream_

_It's not easy to be me_

Occasionally I think about what life would be like if I was a totally different person. Someone with no burdens, no responsibilities other than putting the bin out once a week. But I'm not that person. I'm a sad, messed up Time Lord.

_Up, up and away: away from me  
It's all right  
You can all sleep sound tonight  
I'm not crazy or anything_

Before you call the loony bin, just wait a sec. People can have trouble accepting me and my life. I'll admit it: it's kinda weird. But there's so much more out there, I just happen to be a part of it.

_I can't stand to fly  
I'm not that naïve  
Men weren't meant to ride  
With clouds between their knees_

It's only natural for people to stay put, to dig themselves into a hole. My people didn't do that. They developed great technology that gave them the universe. But with that they gave themselves a terrible curse. To explore the wonders of the universe you must also see the pain of the universe. And every little bit of pain makes me more fragile.

_I'm only a man in a silly red sheet  
Digging for kryptonite on this one way street  
Only a man in a funny red sheet  
Looking for special things inside of me_

As time goes on, I discover more things about myself. I can be grumpy. I can be witty. I can be rude. I can be funny. I can love. I can laugh. I can cry.

_Inside of me  
__Inside of me  
Inside of me  
Inside of me_

_I'm only a man in a funny red sheet  
I'm only a man looking for a dream_

I want to be happy. I want to find enlightenment. Some philosophers sit at desks all day trying to find the secrets of the universe. I go out there and live it.

_I'm only a man in a funny red sheet  
It's not easy …_

I am the Doctor, and it's not easy to be me. But I wouldn't have it any other way.

_It's not easy to be me._

_- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -_

_I've been listening to that song all the time since I recorded it off YouTube. It's so beautiful! You know what else is beautiful? Reviews!  
_


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